How To Deal With Feelings Of Confusion

How To Deal With Feelings Of ConfusionOne of my favorite books is “Deep Survival” by National Geographic writer Laurence Gonzales. He is the first researcher to try to pull together a comprehensive explanation for why some people survive horrible circumstances even though all odds are against them, while other people succumb and perish in relatively small accidents.

One of the most memorable conclusions he reveals in his book is that everyone who dies in a survival situation that they could have made it through, dies of confusion.

I’d never heard of someone dying of confusion, but when you think about it, it makes sense.

There is always a destructive energy at work when we are going through the tough challenges of life.

Exhaustion, anxiety and fear all come together to create a general state of confusion that leads us to make poor decisions which incapacitate us even further in a tightening spiral until our minds and our emotions become like two drowning swimmers dragging each other down.

We become so confused that we either make destructive decisions or no decisions at all, and the circumstances that result destroy our spirits and in some cases can destroy our lives.

Death by confusion. Can easily happen whether a person finds themselves lost in the woods or lost in life.

But it doesn’t have to happen. Lots of people are survivors. How do you ensure you’re one of them?

How do you prevent exhaustion, anxiety and fear from combining into confusion that can snuff you out?

The way to do it is to focus on the opposite of fear and confusion: Faith.

Faith is simply trust in that which you do not fully understand. Focusing on faith is the key to dispelling the deadly confusion that can destroy us.

Faith is the arch enemy of anxiety and fear.

Faith is the death of confusion.

Faith enables us to focus on one supremely positive thing in this dark world – an anchor truth that guides us in our lives.

For many people, faith means trusting that they are unconditionally loved by a God who intimately understands their suffering, pain and struggle.

I know how it is for me when I’m struggling. It’s easy to start thinking that God lets us suffer trials because he doesn’t care about us, or he isn’t there.

Somebody told me recently they were praying to find a job in an easier environment. They said something like, “ I work with difficult, cranky people all the time. It’s driving me totally crazy.” Well, so do I, and so do the people who work with me. It’s a world of fallen, cranky, difficult people.

Maybe you have people in your work who have habits or behaviors that are a real problem for you. Often people want to get transferred to a nicer job with nicer people. Maybe that would be a good thing, but maybe working on getting along with difficult people is the one thing that will grow your character and catapult you into a whole new life trajectory.

So here’s where faith comes in: Maybe the lesson you most need to learn, the training you most need to undertake in order to ensure your survival, involves learning and practicing development of your character in an area that you would rather disengage from.

Maybe God wants to grow you in your ability to love somebody, when it would be easier to resent, or judge, or write them off.

Maybe for you, your confusion revolves around a relationship or an addiction or financial hardship or giving or sacrifice.

Here are some thoughts you might want to consider if you are feeling confused.

1) In the western world, we have placed our faith in little gods with names like Comfort, Ease, Security, and Success. Somewhere along the line, many people have gotten the idea that the purpose of life is to become increasingly more comfortable.

Any step away from our comfort zone is bound to result in feelings of uncertainty and confusion.

How much of what you are feeling is a result of you being afraid of leaving your comfort zone?

2) Everyone has faith. Faith is simply trust in that which you do not fully understand.

The fact is, you will never fully understand all of the ‘why’ questions in your life. And you don’t need to understand everything in order to practice faith.

You might not understand quite yet why you are so angry, or why you are so afraid of change, or why you experience all of the emotions you do.

Are you able to simply trust that you aren’t alone in your struggles, even though you might not fully understand who God is yet?

3) Confusion is a terrible feeling; a feeling of being lost in the most basic sense. The markers, cues and guideposts of life can’t be seen, and the result can be extreme anxiety.

The way to combat confusion is to find your anchor. The reason why faith in God is such a powerful anti-confusion remedy is that no matter what happens in a person’s life they can rest on the solid rock of knowing for certain that they are in the hands of a loving God, both in this life and the next.

What is one thing in your life that you know for certain is true?

Answering that question will do a great deal to combat your feelings of confusion and anxiety.

4) Relax! Think back on times you were confused in the past. It all worked out, didn’t it?

Maybe you can even look back on your life and see how in retrospect your most confusing and uncertain experiences were the times of greatest growth.

Is it possible that by avoiding a decision you are experiencing confusion and sabotaging your own personal growth?

25 Responses to “How To Deal With Feelings Of Confusion”

  1. Sara says:

    Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say
    that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. In any case
    I’ll be subscribing to your blog and I hope you write again soon!

  2. athena says:

    Really good work. I liked your ideas about faith. Also i discovered that one thing is really true, if you ask for help you do get it. Thankyou for your helping hand.

  3. Laura-Jane says:

    Thoughtful post and very timely for me. Thanks!

  4. Jenny says:

    Thanks this post was very helpful. Whenever confusion and anxiety appear I always solved it by avoiding the situation or running back to the familiar were its safe, instead of having faith too stick it out. If i run now it will effect a lot of people in my life. This post have encourage me to stick it out and trust God in this situation.

  5. Andrea says:

    Thank you. My son is suffering with confusion and it is a difficult time for all of us. i really liked what you said about faith.

  6. Nupur says:

    Wonderful thoughts! In my religion they speak of faith too but i never really got the full idea till now. Thanks so much.

  7. Donald says:

    That piece is a true reflection of my personal experience. I saw rapid growth in the life of my family in the face of a crushing confusion; but I have never known failure as a monster in my life, so whenever it came knocking at the door of my life, faith saw me through. I am a living testimony of confusion crusher. I encourage you to be inspired to write more on the subject.

  8. Michael Matarrese says:

    Thank you so much for the advice I’m going crazy crying over my confusion any anywhere I turn the odds are agents me I some how fell in love with a girl that lives with her boy firend I have to leave my moms house or she promesses to have me locked up on Monday I have no time to find a place if ingot to the shelter I might still get locked up cause I’m on probation an I got smashed by an SUV TRUCK ON NEW YEARS DAY 1/1/2011 I woke up this morning so confused don’t know what to do or where to go. This is changing me a little bit. Your post really helped me relax a little please pray for me and for the rest of the world god bles ur sole peace
    Mike mat

  9. Stephanie says:

    Thank you so much! Now I have all my questions about confusion answered. This is really helpful as after I read the article, I felt like a big burden was taken off my shoulders. I feel light and motivated. God bless us all! :-)

  10. Rubber says:

    I gotta give you are hug for that. You’re amazing all right. Great article, seriously.

  11. Zoe says:

    I enjoyed reading this post and I actually jot down a few notes having faith that God will see me through this confused time in my life. Would like to read more on this subject.

  12. Adz says:

    Thanks a lot! This helped me understand and analyze my situation better.

  13. vicky okolocha says:

    I thank God in heaven who uses you to sort problems of people and i also pray that he continue to imbibe you with more wisdom.
    Thanks a million this helps me to evaluate myself.

  14. Janet says:

    When faced with confusion and anxiety my personality kicks in. To give me a feeling of being safer and in control of that safety factor, I march right up to whomever and address it. I am compelled to meet it front on. This doesn’t work with passive-aggressive people, or people who would rather run then get a resolve. This in turn becomes one of exclusion. I envy those who are not like me, who can be at peace with confusion and anxiety while I am proactive and what honesty so I then can understand what is happening. Again, this isn’t happening.

  15. Pat says:

    I was drowning-you threw me a lifeline. For this, may our God bestow upon you His blessings and favor.

  16. chaitu says:

    thank you… until today i was in confusion. I spent so many years in confusion and ended many things without any purpose.
    I got some clarity regarding this Confusion. These many days i thought this was fear in me, but it was not.
    Belief in what we do removes confusion.
    and a million thanks for the post.

  17. Nancy says:

    thanks a lot. I have faith in god and i know he wont let me down and if i fall he will make me strong to stand up and fight. thanks for making me believe in God again. God bless you.

  18. Tim R. says:

    Good stuff may I pass it on. I am in A.A. and explaining a higher power to some new people in the program is essential to recovery.

  19. madhesh says:

    superb work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  20. dominick virgilio says:

    what about all the people who ask god for help and they don’t get it, GOD IS A FUCKING ASS HOLE, BESIDES THERE IS NO GOD SHOVE YOUR FAITH UP YOUR FILTHY ASS HOLE!knowing there is NO GOD SET YOU FREE, I’M MY OWN GOD AND IF YOU KILL AND EATING ANIMALS GOD HATES YOUR FILTHY GUTS,!

  21. dominick says:

    WHat about all people who ask for gods help and don’t get IT, your god is a mother fucking tyrannt besides there is no god knowing this sets me free from this tyrannt belief in someone thats trying to control you,religion is the biggest form of bondage, you believe someone died for your sins your a fucking cowARD!

  22. bimbola says:

    Its a pity that those insult God are blind. I don’t blame them. Frustration has set in. When you see light and still head for darkness you will surely end in destruction. Its all the plan of the devil, it (devil) gives you fame, money and pride but it will also demand for your soul in hell. Better repent before its too late. My brother keep on the good works of faith. Your word gave me inspiration and am moving on. Bimbola (nigeria)

  23. darlington says:

    It is indeed a powerful shot released by God through you, sir/ma,i am lifted by this word of faith.

  24. anthony says:

    I read that article of yours today 30/06/2014 about confusion and faith, I think it was pretty good, especially in view of all the religiouns out there all claiming absolute truth, when as you said, no one will ever understand all the why questions in life anyway, so it makes more sence to just have faith instead, plus there are too many things out of our control in life anyway, so either way, whether we believe in an Almighty or not ? Faith is still required. Tony.

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